Is it just me, or is it quite challenging in this day and age, as a Christian woman, to land in a place of health when it comes to self image and roles?  I’m not sure how to organize this blog, as I usually have so many thoughts swirling around at once.  Let’s see what happens if I just start writing.

Self Image:

Our society is so screwed up.  The female images we see all around us are seldom real…if the picture hasn’t been airbrushed or altered by a computer, the woman has usually nipped and tucked and added a cup size or three.  These images are EVERYWHERE.  If I get groceries, I am greeted by Jennifer Aniston, Angelina, and the new faces I haven’t learned yet.  If I want to watch Transformers, I am asked to share my evening with Megan Fox wearing daisy dukes.  The mall?  Victoria’s Secret.  Internet?  Pop up porn stars on the right hand column.  Video games?  If a woman was actually built like that, she would break in half at the waist from the sheer weight of her chest.  You get my point.  I know often people talk about how hard it is for men to live with all this, but I think it is hard on us women as well.  I made a joke the other day about being tired of looking like Greek art…you know, the round, white statues of women with baby bellies and sagging breasts.  But honestly, I think the Greeks were onto something.  They understood that life’s natural seasons bring changes to our female bodies, and that our version of beauty should change along with it.  As much as I know having my six babies has been God’s plan for me, when constantly bombarded with “the standard” (that’s what I call the “perfect” female body type), there are days that I struggle.  I truly believe that there is beauty in committing to motherhood, nursing little ones, and not always having time to wax my eyebrows and straighten my hair…inner strength and servant-heartedness are gorgeous.   But my frail humanness shows from time to time when I hear of another guy leaving his wife for a younger, less worn out model…one who’s breasts have never nursed a child nor who’s belly has ever stretched to house one.  The liar whispers..”You never hear of a man falling for a pudgy mother of six, do you?  You aren’t what is beautiful…”  This is when I need to close my eyes, and ask my heavenly Father to remind me of what matters, and how He views me.  I love the line in the Delirious song Our God Reigns that says, “God didn’t screw up when He made you…He’s a Father Who loves to parade you.”

Now,   I have seen this go the other way, and have seen women take no care of their bodies, and give no thought to how they look, and expect their husbands to be ok with that.  I don’t think this attitude pleases the Lord either.  I started running a few years years ago because I wanted to do my best, to be, and look my best in this season of my life.  I’m not in denial of my age (38), but I am not going to use it as an excuse to be unhealthy or unnecessarily unattractive.  I love my husband, and it honors and blesses him when I do my best.

Roles:

This is a hot topic.  I blogged years ago about jumpers and suits, and that God ultimately looks on our hearts.  There are so many ideas within Christendom, as to who women are supposed to be.  Many have viewed me, with my six kids, homeschooling, and strong husband, as a weak-willed, subservient, bare footed and pregnant woman who doesn’t think for myself or have any desire to do anything outside the home.  The truth is, I am doing what my Father has asked me to do, and it might not be glamorous, but it is obedience.  He has called me to focus on my family, and to do my best to raise up godly children who will kick some butt in this world.  As my children grow, and I see my Gracie turning into a beautiful, confident, young woman who loves her Lord and can’t wait to challenge the godless attitudes  of the age,  God reminds me that the fruit of the womb is a REWARD.  Seeds turn into fruit.  Hard work ( and often unseen work) pays off.  I’m glad I haven’t felt the need to validate myself and my spirituality by chasing this ministry or that position, and in turn haven’t neglected what God asked me to major on.  I will let people think what they want.  My husband is a servant leader in this home, who cares for me and listens to what I have to say.   And I love serving him and my children, because my obedience in the end will glorify my Lord much more than if I toured with Point of Grace or ran my own ministry.  Oops, I said it.

Understanding the grace of God, and living in view of the God side of the gospel, has brought a level of spiritual confidence into my life that alluded me for years.  As you can see, it’s not that I don’t struggle at times.  But I know who I am.  I will not be moved.  My Father calls me beautiful, and He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.  I will remain in a place of listening to His voice, and obeying it…seeking Him.  I choose to believe this Truth, and to do my best by His strength to live in this society as a woman with her head held high ( even though other things  might sag. )